A Heartfelt Confession: My Expertise in Failing
In one of our earlier blog, we looked at thoughts, what is it, its relationship with the mind and the impact it has on us. In this blogs we look at fear of failing.
Fear of failure - Does it really exist ?
There are a many experiences that people shy away from, two out of those are the experience of fear and failure. I ask myself, is there something called "Fear of failure" ?, as I ponder over this, the only conclusion I am able to reach is there is nothing called "Fear of failure" its just an combination of words.
We can be fearfully of literally anything, fear of heights, animals, speech, emotions, living, dying, success, failure etc. There is a never ending phobia list. So fear is the underlying experience, the triggers can be anything.
It will be worth exploring both words fear and failure.
Following the ascending alphabetical order, we will first explore what is failure ? and then explore what is fear ?
A sincere and a heartfelt confession
Of all the topics I have blogged until now, am really over joyed to inform the readers that I am eminently qualified to speak on the subject of failure. You can think of me as a subject matter expert. Moreover I hate competition and I humbly accept the accolades with or without your reservations ! Thank you everyone!
Now a days one of the few words that bring a smile instantly to my face is "failure". I am saying this in a context that, we use failure as yet another excuse to stay miserable. I am not against staying miserable, at the end of the day it is a choice made by the individual, there is freedom in making that choice and we should respect that.
What is failure
So putting aside all jokes(including sarcastic ones), let's look at what failure is, really seriously. It's matter of life and death for many individuals. From a student ending their life due to lack of marks, or a workers killing themselves over finances, or a business people killing themselves over debt, profit. Failure has serious, if I may add deadly consequences.
Failure is a social construct, there needs to be an underlying ongoing action, which then forms the basis for the evaluation and conclusion. Failure in addition to being a social construct is a relative measure. Let's take the cosmic act of
Earth spinning and rotating, if the Earth decided to take rest, stopped spinning or spins slowly people will term it as failure.
A
racing driver failing to reaching the finish line, or not reaching the finish line faster both are looked as failures. A business not making profit , or struggling to stay afloat is looked as a failure. There is an underlying action and then an evaluation and finally an conclusion.
For a moment if we imagine there is an action less world, then where is the construct of failure ? . By now if you have not guessed everything happens up in the mind. Mind the miracle which can drive you to suicide or create wonderful things in the world.
Importance and Impacts of failure
In the digital age, this cannot be stressed too much, its very important to understand the way the mind functions. As we move away slowly from physical work the extremities of the mind will be on full display in the world. Perspective matters just by understanding the functions of the mind and by simply changing the way we look at things we can sail through most of the present day mental challenges.
On the other end of the spectrum stands efficiency and success, as most people prefer to be efficient and successful there is another silent business running riot, the business of
instant energy and
supplements for mental health. There are many
medical supplement products that claim, they provide instant energy, stress relief and alter painful emotions states, may be they do that is not that point.
There are some pertinent question that each individual needs ponder over prior to the usage.
- At what physical and mental cost is the relief ?
- Is the promised relief temporary or permanent ?
- Does it make a person reliant/addict on the supplement for relief ?
- What are the side effects physically and mentally ?
You neither throw a stone or a flower in a disturbed water hoping that it will settle the disturbance. Using medical supplements is almost akin to that. A tree with weak roots, stems, branches neither flowers not bears fruit consistently.
As mind has evolved over billions of years slowly and steadily, it is prudent to approach the quick fix solution of the brain supplements with utmost caution. Keep in mind, one of the least understood organ in the body is the mind, medical science has not yet mastered it. I keep getting the imagery of a
lab rat running in a circular wheel, not sure why.
What is fear
If failure is a social construct, fear is an survival instinct natural to all creatures including humans. If not for fear, then death will be more common than disease. In the natural order of things oddly enough fear sustains life unnecessary courage invites death, in the man made order of war and chaos the reverse holds true, courage sustains life and fear kills faster.
Different aspects of fear
We shall take a look at couple of aspects of fear, fear as an instinctual response and fear as an emotion. Both are closely interlinked with many overlapping attributes.
Fear as an instinctual response
If we look at fear as an instinctual response, then for the survival of the individual fear has a role to play. When we are in new surroundings, situations we are in a heightened sense of alertness. Both consciously and sub consciously we constantly evaluate the threat perception, and based on the threat perception the defense mechanism is triggered.
A sense of fear is one of the indications that there is a perceived threat to the individual, this is a natural self defense process being activated and the way each individual responds to the threat is not same. In an individual instincts and behavioral patterns are formed over long period of time and it will be an meaning less exercise to look at only certain aspects and come to any sort of understanding or conclusions.
Fear as an emotional reaction
The instinctual response of fear kicks when there is an perceived external danger to an individual, the same patterns happens internally in the mind with fear as an emotion. If we observe closely once the emotion of fear is triggered we have a heightened level of mental activity. We think through and plan our reactions for various scenario's and possibilities.
This can be clearly observed if we are doing something for the first time which we always wanted to do, lets say we are trekking for the first time to a beautiful mountain range, there is lot energy, excitement, planning going on internally in the mind.
On the other hand if we are unwillingly forced to do something new for the first time, fear and the inbuilt defense mechanism kicks in forcing individuals to react in a certain way. We can notice the same in first time public speaking, first job interview, first presentation and so on.
The mind likes to be in it's comfort zone and in it's known patterns, enormous energy and effort is expended to accommodate to a new surroundings. Anything new we embark on involves an increased level of mental activity the only thing that makes it a pleasant or an unpleasant experience is how organized or chaotic the mind is.
Handling Fear
In a subtle way we can to a major extent mitigate the negative effects of fear, since fear is an integral part of defense mechanism completely eliminating it is out of the question unless under heavy influence of drugs.
Always preventative measure work best in the long run, over the intrusive quick fix solutions at offer in the market place. Whatever does not kill you is marketable and profit does gloss over every uncomfortable question. Unfortunately as more and more people are hooked in to the quick fix solution option, addiction and additional side effects are a natural consequence.
If you cannot explain a subject in a simple way, it is an indication that there is lack of understanding of the subject. Mind, its matters and its functions needs to be simplified and not complicated further with scientific jargons. It is essential we demystify the mind in order to create a beautiful mind and joyful living.
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